Chaplain describes being a 'pigeon' during over a minute of hockey action

Providence College executive vice president Thomas More Garrett, O.P., says his teammates are likely calling him a pigeon. He spent more than a minute on the ice without showing speed or direction. In men's ice hockey, pigeon is a negative label. It describes a player who relies on others to feed them pucks and fails to create scoring chances.

Garrett notes that pigeons are people who are phoning it in and quitting quietly. He argues that no one wants to hold that title. He distinguishes the pigeon from the flamingo. A flamingo lifts a leg in front of a speeding puck. Garrett calls that an instinctive sign of a timid soul. He suggests parents send flamingo players to ballet class.

The chaplain explains the hierarchy of poor performers. Flamingos often become dusters. A duster is a player with little playing time. Dusters may join goal celebrations, but they stay away from chaotic games. Even after a celebration, a duster remains a hoser, a term for an unskilled loser. If a player stays in pigeon mode, they risk a yard sale, where a hard hit leaves equipment on the ice.

Garrett reports hearing a clapper, which is a slapshot. He looked up to see the score was still an egg, meaning zero to zero. He describes the team's blueliners, the defenders, as top cheddar. He says the goalie is not a sieve, a term for a keeper who allows many goals. Despite a slow start, Garrett says he can still manage an effective dangle, a skillful maneuver around a defender.

He warns that dangles require caution. A mistake sends a player to the sin bin, or penalty box. The desired sequence in the game is apple, biscuit, and gino. That order means an assist, a puck, and a goal. Garrett and his wingers, the forwards on the outer sides of the rink, are not having a picnic on the shift. A line change is imminent.

Garrett serves as chaplain for the men's ice hockey team. He also teaches management in the School of Business. The article includes a glossary defining the slang terms. It lists items such as the bucket for a helmet and pillows for leg pads. It also defines the gong show as an out of control game.

The piece appears in Providence College News. It outlines the specific vocabulary used on the ice. It details the consequences of slow play. It contrasts the roles of pigeons, flamingos, and dusters. It provides a specific definition for terms like top cheddar and egg. The article ends with the scheduled line change for the forwards.